How unhealthy is unhealthy? Again, it depends. Some are mild enough that a woman will persevere. Even if the guy’s only fault is that he belittles women, they really should not stand for it. They all manage to hurt using emotions and should not be taken lightly. But then again, this is a choice you must make. Now, the absolutely dangerous one are to be avoided at all cost. Not even being casual friends!
Living with a narcissistic man or having a relationship with one is associated with communication with him. And since we know his main features, I can say that communication with him is not an easy task. Narcissistic man is only interested in his own happiness, so most often you can hear him talk about his needs, achievements and desires. In conversation he speaks more often and he rarely hears other people, because he is not interested in their experiences, thoughts and feelings. Yet, there are little tricks that can help you in your communication with him.
* Do not create high expectations and put small demands on him.
Your role in life of the narcissistic man is maintenance – you’re the one who needs to hear and agree with his opinions, even when you disagree. To let him speak and give the impression that you understand and support him is for your own good. During the conversation you can put some comments that did not confront him directly. The more often you want his opinion on an issue, the more you will attract his attention. Try to use simple sentences and specific requirements when you want him to do something for you and you’ll have more success.
* Insert positive comments during the conversation.
Since narcissistic man lives to receive the approval from others, well, you can use that! During the conversation, you can make positive comments on the information he gives you. This way you will manage to continue the conversation, you will be sure you understand him correctly and he will be convinced that you hear him. It is imperative to avoid direct criticism! Narcissistic man cannot bear that he’s wrong or that something is wrong with him, or that his relationship with you is not perfect. Any direct criticism of him could terminate your conversation immediately, but the consequences can be bad for you.
Of course, you cannot always agree with him and I am sure that many times you wanted to criticize his actions and his words. Well, you can learn to wait for him to tell you what he wants to tell you and then you can speak. The second important thing – you can criticize him without him even noticing. Use elegant and short phrases. The goal is when you tell him that he is the rudest man in the world, he feels like you’re saying that he is the finest.
On the other hand if you can’t take it anymore, getting out of an unhealthy relationship seems like a no-brainer. Why would you stay in one? Surprisingly, it may be hard thing to do for most women. Here are steps to take:
- When in any kind of real danger, take physical flight as soon as you can. If you feel extremely unsafe, go straight to the cops. For milder cases, you may go to relatives or friends. However, think carefully. Will going there put yourself and everyone in danger? Does the narcissist know where to find you? In that case, going to a safe house may be the best option. Learning what is available may be life-saving. Put your research skills to good use. There may be shelters nearby.
- If you cannot escape immediately, then appease him for the moment and wait for the opportunity to do so. This is true when dealing with severely disturbed narcissists. Sorry to say, you may have to play the game for a little while longer. However, at the first available chance, run!
Whatever option you choose to deal with narcissistic man, whether through changing him or through breakup, it’s surely not an easy road to take.
Before you take any step, you should first double-check if he actually is a narcissist. That is why I created a simple but powerful “Is He A Narcissist?” special report.
Your friend in life and love,