If you ask him, his relationship is just fine! He is getting love, affection, attention, all his needs and desires are satisfied – everything is GREAT for him! Of course, if you’re the good wife or girlfriend who’s giving him all that. If you’re not acting as he wants, his relationship won’t be normal.
I’m separating the relationship as his and yours, as both of you have different perception about “normal relationship”. For him “normal” is just receiving, but for you “normal” is giving and receiving no matter what kind of human relationship we’re talking about. For him the most important thing is that he feels good and for you that both of you feel good. For him it’s exclusively important to satisfy his own needs, but for you to satisfy the needs of both of you. For him it’s everyday need to feel your love, passion and kindness, and for you… Well, you have the same need, but he’s not capable of showing them to you every day… Sometimes not even once a week!
As we already know, the narcissistic man often lacks empathy, so it may be really hard to have a normal relationship with him. Well, at the beginning of your relationship you probably though you’ve found “the man of your dreams”, but it’s just because you interpreted his actions and words in a wrong way! After all, the narcissistic man always gets what he wants and when he wants you, he can play the “in love” role very good and win your heart. He can really impress you with his kind attitude towards you. He can be attended and careful, he can spoil you and make you feel like the most important person in his life.
But then, when he’s sure that you’re already his lady, his attitude changes. Everything that made you fall in love with him disappears and you see his true face. All the compliments and kind words are gone, and replaced with accusations and insults. His kind attitude is replaced by demanding, wanting and sometimes even beating. The worst thing is that he can’t understand that he’s hurting your feelings and feel compassion for you.
However, sometimes there’s a light in the dark. In some cases, narcissistic man can realize that he’s hurting people around him, that he has a problem and seek help. And only when he starts to visit a psychologist or read publications about the narcissism, he can change some of the negative traits. Well, you can’t expect miracles. He can’t reborn and be a completely different person, but he can be more careful in his behavior and attitude towards you and your child/children, his relatives, his friends and colleagues. You can have a normal relationship with him, but always keep in mind he’s a narcissist.
The change won’t start by itself. You have to understand how he thinks and behaves.
First, crucial step is to find out if he actually is a narcissist – that is why I created a simple but powerful “Is He A Narcissist?” special report.
Your friend in life and love,